Sitting here feeling like crap trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.
I've been a hermit most of my life. Mostly because I can't seem to interact with others without making huge social errors. I beat myself up a lot about what I have said or done and how I should have done so many, many things differently.
I keep trying to change my mindset, but it's a rough row to hoe.
Lucinda had brain surgery exactly one week ago for a bleeding aneurysm. It was so good to visit with her. We cleaned up her car a bit because she's trading it in on a newer car and needed pictures for the dealership with a potential new car. I gave Randy a hand stacking firewood for the winter. He only uses about two cords of wood every winter at the big house. Incredible! Then Lucinda and I had a spot of lunch.
I think Bandit got his feelings hurt. While we were cleaning the car, he climbed into the back seat and we both shoo'd him out. Twice -- because he tried getting in the front seat too. Plus I was loving on her new kitten, Coconut and her Jack Russell, Ezra. He climbed into the car and wouldn't come out.
We headed home after I washed up the dishes. Got to Galeton and, spur of the moment, drove over to Lyman Run State Park. The spillway gate was open, so we parked the car over by the beach and walked across the bridge and far embankment. Forgot how loud the coursing water could be. Am always amazed how being in nature can calm the soul.
Speaking of which... A certain fur-baby needs to go outside, as evidenced by the huge sigh and plopping down of body on the floor outside the den. Will try to get him to hold off until the sun comes up at 7ish. It's fifty three degrees outside and that's the warmest it's going to be all day. Perfect time to cook some roast beef. Guess I'll make some stew.
Last night I heard my mama singin' a song...
A couple days ago Bandit and I were stopped on the return trip of our evening jaunt by the young neighbor lady who I had gifted herbs earlier in the year. She told me that the same day I had dropped off the plants was the anniversary of her grandfather's death. She had been at the graveyard earlier in the day and returned home to find the herbs waiting alongside her driveway. She spoke of how her grandfather had always loved puttering around in his garden. When she told me that she was shocked by the lily of the valley card I had left with the plants. Turns out those were his favorite flower.
Me being me, I kinda hemmed and hawed like a total idiot. PTSD flashback of Mom making that card, et al led to a mini-panic attack that I think I masked pretty well.
What I wanted to say was that sometimes we entertain angels unaware. Sharing her story with me was very kind. Perhaps I should drop her a note later on. Leave it with some lemon-honey and maybe a jar of jam.
This past week has been weird. I was supposed to be getting my new tires on the car, but that got postponed until this week (not holding breath).
Monday saw me taking neighbor Linda and her dog to the vet where she was told to put the dog down...she postponed it for a day in order to say her goodbyes.
On Thursday Lucinda came through her brain surgery fine and is back home.
I haven't heard a peep from Gretchen about her son and have been putting off calling her because I suspect he went to be with his Lord and Savior.
Finished that crazy quilt block and decided to stick a fork in that project. (i.e., it's done for now at least). Need to look at some quilt sashing options and decide what to do to make it into a wall hanging... Or should I incorporate it into a different quilt? Planning needs to be done. Shame I'm better at planning than acting. But I'm trying to be better about it.
After thinking about what to put on a crazy-type quilt for days, I pulled out the Sulky and printed off Day Two of mmmCrafts Twelve Days of Christmas felt ornaments - the turtle dove. Cut out two and gathered supplies to finish them off. It will give me something productive to do while I decide what quilt project I want to work on next.
The sewing machine power cord/foot pedal finally shipped and is due to be delivered Tuesday.
Will probably work on the denim stained glass quilt until a project plan is completed. Also have the wool applique pillow to finish and may make a pillow from the bear's paw block. I only have so many more years to work on things like that, so I don't want any more false starts.
Organizing the craft supplies continues. Little by little that room is coming together.
Checked my electric account and saw I was awarded a total of $750 from LIHEAP. I might actually be warm this winter. Celebrated by running the electric space heater in the bathroom so it was warm for my shower. Luxury! Sheer luxury!
Have been trying to do ten DuoLingo lessons a day. Giving this consistency thing a shot. Worked for the first half of this year with this blog; posted more this year than I have in the past.
Looks like it might not rain today. Perhaps I'll take Bandit for a real walk. His exercise has been neglected of late. The cold and damp has these old bones aching.
I'm off to shower, eat breakfast and watch CBS Sunday Morning. Toodles.
Some days I'm not sure why I'm writing this blog. I guess mostly because I want to remember and my memory isn't all that great these days.
The hand work has helped change my focus from negative thinking a bit, but this last block isn't turning out quite right so it's frustrating.
Going on Duolingo has helped memory retention a bit. Learning has always been fun.
Being alone all the time is very difficult. Luckily I have a couple folks to talk to on messenger or by phone. A few folks in the neighborhood speak when I'm out walking the dog, which is nice. W stops by every couple weeks. Sometimes he doesn't even come inside to visit. That's okay though. At least he can't be critical then.
44 degrees this morning and I finally turned the heat back on. Might put some of that beef stew I made for dinner from leftover roast on top of biscuits and pop it in the oven to warm it up. Weird breakfast but it'll warm up the house enough for me to be able to take a shower.
It's pouring rain. The sewing machine is broken (more on that later) and I don't feel like hand piecing a crazy quilt block or watching tv or listening to music or cleaning or really much of anything right now.
Am sitting on the couch with Henrietta next to my feet. Bandit just got up and moved to the kitchen.Tigger is laying on the back of the couch and Romeow has taken over Bandits blanket underneath the tv.
It's a bit chilly in here. Last night before going to bed I put the Winter screen in the new living room window because rain was in the weather forecast. Today is probably going to be one of the last opportunities to have fresh air circulating once Winter hits. So... I have a sweater and big fluffy socks on. Lots of blankets laying around if it cools off too much. Or... There's always the heating pad (which would feel great on my back right now, come to think of it). You can feel and smell the change in the air. The dampness is bone chilling.
The sun is fully up now and it's peaceful sitting here watching the raindrops glittering on the window panes. There was a loud bird chirping in the pine hedge row earlier when the rain was heavier.
I've been trying to clean up the house before the snow hits. The last load of bedding is in the washer. Will need to rent a steam cleaner for the carpet. Am stocked with most of the supplies I'll need to get through the winter.
The new Atlas tires that arrived Monday are due to be put on this coming week. They look great and am hoping they perform well in snow. Cost less than $500 and the mechanic is taking the old tires in trade for mounting, balancing and installing new valve stems. I feel like I hit the lottery! So... I'm buying a book on needle painting for $30 to celebrate!
Easy come, easy go. Right?
Most everything that needs to be in the shed has been moved there.
Pulled up the tomato plants. Harvested most of the green peppers and the next sunny day they will be pulled. It's time to thin the bok choi; perfect opportunity to replant.
Time also to get some sour dough starter brewing.
Worked on one of the crazy quilt squares for over a week now. Not real happy with some of the elements. Yet life goes on.
Have been learning more about crazy quilts. Might use the current finished blocks for a wall hanging and start a crazy quilt from scratch. Would like to make one with birdies and flowers. Guess I need to do some planning.
Today is day 125 on Duolingo. I now know more than 500 words and the lessons are getting harder. Have been typing the lessons on the computer rather than this tablet because the keyboard is so much faster.
Tigger is getting terribly thin. Have switched him to senior cat food and give him cat food gravy a couple times a week. He's sleeping more and more and is needy when awake. Not sure what to do for him.
W stopped by yesterday. He hauled away the metal door, can and some odds and ends for the dump. Says he'll be by to replace the box that keeps the pipe from freezing. Is also going to bring styrofoam for a cat shelter. The kitties will be warm this winter!
The new neighbors have arrived. Kinda met the husband and their French Bulldog, Dozer when we went for a walk. Silly puppy tried following us down the trail.
Baked oatmeal bread yesterday intending to give it to the neighbors, but the recipe I used turned out pretty icky, so I'm going to try another kind today. Almost time to start the sour dough.
Was a gorgeous day yesterday with temperatures in the mid 70s. Won't get many more like that until next year. Gonna rain this morning
Sorted out the buttons. Forgot how many cool buttons I have and that Mom had. Will be great to use them on blocks. One floss box isn't big enough to hold them all. Guess I need to find the other floss box or use the one I have sequins in right now.
